Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Live and Let Live

As a Blogger, A mother, A social sharer I get asked a lot about my parenting choices. I lie, I don't get asked a lot. I get asked constantly. I don't mind this. I am happy to share my views on things and it is only my views that I am sharing it is not my instruction. I do not feel the need to tell any parent how or how not to raise their children. That isn't my job and it isn't the point of this blog. I share my experiences and offer a little outlet to those that read it. This in mind, it is hardly surprising that people easily ask me questions. It is easy to presume that I am just happy to chat about it. Of course it's easy to presume that. I share my everyday life online for goodness sake. I take that into account and generally am more than happy to answer questions when asked.
I have no right or wrong. I have 3 children each one of them different. Each one of them require different boundaries, discipline, types of play etc. They are not all the same person. I don't treat them like they are. They are all individuals with differing personalities. So, the way I raise them has to change slightly from child to child. Yes, the basics remain the same for each of them. You know, the good manners, etiquette, mindfulness etc. But, not every situation for each of my children is dealt with in the same way. I won't lie and make out that they are miles apart in personality. They have their similarities for sure but ultimately they are different people. You're probably wondering where I am going with this. Well, I feel that Parents and Parental choices are taking over the media at the minute. Especially Social Media. You can't do right from wrong being a parent can you? You're damned if you do and you are damned if you don't. Well, that's how it feels. I'm pretty sure most would agree. The media is full of conflicting advice for Mothers and Fathers. What we should and shouldn't feed our children. How we should and shouldn't put our children to sleep. What we should and shouldn't allow our children to wear. What we can and can't allow our children to play with. How a child should or shouldn't be disciplined. This so called 'advice' is everywhere. One site saying one thing and another saying the opposite. It's a battlefield out there for us parents. It really is. And, I get asked about this a lot. When I say 'this' I mean all the online articles, interviews, videos, status updates that shared daily. People ask me my opinion on ALL of this stuff all the time. And, my thoughts pretty much always remain the same -

Live and let live. 

I tell my children every day - Just be you. You do what makes you happy. You only get one shot at this life and I truly believe that you should live it for you. When I say that, I don't mean go off and worry about no one else. Of course, I don't mean that but if you are happy with you are, love yourself then you will happy to feel that way about others. You will accept others and their happiness. You will be able to look deeper and see a bigger picture. You will be far more accepting and understanding. You will be selfless and care for others far more in doing so also for yourself. Stop worrying about what the World is telling you, you should do and just do what makes you happy. If no one is getting hurt and you are enjoying the life you lead then you are doing something right. Does it really matter what my children play with? If my daughter wishes to play with cars then she will play with cars. My Son a dolly then so bloody be it. It's absurd that we still have this notion of pink for girls, blue for boys. Babies for girls, football for boys. It is absurd. It's unnecessary. I still to this day am unsure as to what people think will happen if we allow our children to play with a toy of their choice and not a toy of their gender. Is it the fear that they may turn gay? Why is that even a fear? Why are we fearful of this? Just stop. And, everyone knows you don't just turn gay. You are born gay. Fact. A toy will not make that decision for you. Plus, it isn't even a decision. I repeat you are born gay. That's who you are and it should flaming well be celebrated by not only others but you too. And, believe me now if any of my children grow to tell me they were born gay I would be just as proud of them as I would upon finding out one of them was straight. What does it matter? Surely happiness is all that matters. If we are honest with others and ourselves isn't that all what we ideally want for our children? Happiness? Live and let live. Live your life to the full. Do what feels right and do what makes you happy.
It is not wrong to puree your children's dinner. Just like it isn't wrong to baby led wean. Neither of these things are incorrect. You do what you do. Each method of weaning is safe and advised. Stop judging another parent because they chose to do something a tad different to you. Stop. Just stop. Live and let live.
In order to get this across to my children, live and let live. I totally practice what I preach. I do what makes me happy. It has took me many years to feel totally at ease with it but it is always what I have done. I am not defined by the way I look or the colours I choose. I have my hair the way I have it because it makes me happy. The clothes I wear make me happy. The choices I make, make me happy.
Just be you. Please. No one else is youer that you. That much is true.
I could go on and on talking about this. I won't but I could.

Keep your eyes peeled for my next post. This post has totally got me all fired up!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Feel free to leave a comment ...