Wednesday, 26 April 2017

My Boy's Robot Ear

3 weeks ago my Son got fitted with a hearing aid in his right ear. And, in my whole 4 years of being his Mother never has my Son said anything as heart breaking as what he said upon leaving the hearing clinic that day.

"Mommy. I can hear the birds. I can hear the birds singing!!!"

Never has my heart both broke and sung together in such a harmonic way before. It never occurred to me that my Son had missed out on the simple sounds that we all take for granted before such as bird song. He always spoke of the birds and them singing. But, I guess he just knew they sung and had never actually experienced their song.
And, then to follow during our drive home he asked me "What that the clicking noise was?" That 'everday' click was the sound of my indicator. So simple yet so missed by those of us that can hear it.
In that moment I felt huge relief for my Son. For the fact that he had finally been given what he needed and that it was clearly doing its job. He was content and smiling at the freedom this small device in his ear was giving him But, I also felt the ache of guilt, 'mum guilt'. It hurt my insides to think it had taken so long to get to this point. It ached to think that it had even had to get to this point if I am honest. A little bit of me felt angry that my Son had suffered and had to be assisted now with his hearing. It almost, in that moment felt a little unfair. And, for a very short time I didn't like it. I did not like the hearing aid. Not one bit. I didn't like the fact that my Son needed it. It felt wrong. I was angry with the aid for being there, I was angry that it was his hearing and not mine affected, I was angry that my Son was now labelled. All irrational angers I know. But, none the less they were there, in that moment, for a short time.
That feeling however was a feeling short lived and a feeling felt just in a moment. A moment of denial. It was a reaction. A quick reaction. Actually, he does need it and with it life for him is so much better, richer and fulfilled. He sees nothing but goodness in this device in his ear. He does not see himself labelled and he does not blame me for the problem. He is positive. He can hear. In this he sees a super hero and not a barrier. And, let's face it, if anyone can work the hearing aid Mini-Moose can.

This is just the start for my Son. The World was his oyster before this. But, now it's his super big oyster. His hearing is no longer impaired and his speech no longer delayed. Why am I worrying? I need to be embracing. This device has changed his World.

I am inspired my Son. I wish I was more like him. I wish my mind and thought process wasn't so adult and a little more child-like. I wish we were all somewhat thus. What an amazing little boy to see the positive in all that he does. He takes this World in his stride with fierce independence for a 4 year old.

According to my Son, he does not wear a hearing aid. He has a 'robot ear' and just like that, he is the coolest kid on the block.
Here's to my boy and all the other kids with 'robot' ears. There's no one else quite like you!